Year in Review: Best Family Games of 2009

Time to bust out the Wii... and take Dad to jail for being a pedophile

Starting out, video games definitely had potential to provide entertainment for individuals of all ages. Games like Pong, Pac Man, and Space Invaders could appeal to just about anyone. Over time, video games have come to grow and mature with their audience and now, not all games are for everyone. Since games like Doom, and Mortal Kombat, violence in video games has become such a hot topic in the media and the scape goat for such tragedies as Columbine.
But, there are still games out there for everyone to enjoy! Games that can appeal to mass audiences! Games that you can sit and play with your Mom and Dad! And so this is a story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down and now I’d like to take a minute, just sit right there and without further adieu… THE BEST FAMILY GAMES OF 2009!

5. Resident Evil 5 (PS3/XBOX360)
Why You Should Play It With Your Kids: Game play teaches cooperative strategy and trusting your team mate. New villains show that you don’t have to JUST kill zombies in video games anymore with a diverse set of new villains!

This one BARELY edged out Little Big Planet. Sure, Resident Evil 5 may not be the most colorful game out there, and the characters aren’t as cute and cuddly as Sack Boy. But, it’s a great game to pop in, grab a few controllers and some some Snuggies, and giggle away with your little brother, sister, spouse, or loved one!

4. MadWorld (Wii)
Why you should play it with your kids: ability to use a variety of different tools, like chainsaws, torches, Golf clubs, and spears are transferable skills IRL.

Most would read the title and think; “what’s this guy got to be so mad about? This guy could easily enter the landscaping industry with a chainsaw attached to his arm!” Our hero, Jack Cayman, has been asked to participate in a new game show where he can win fabulous prizes as long as he is able to paint as much of the town the color red as humanly possible! At least, that was the way I interpreted it!

3. 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand (PS3/XBOX360)
Why you should play it with your kids: What more of a reason is there besides that the game features 50 Cent, and Tony Yayo? These two gentleman are easily some of the premiere roll models for our youth and now fathers can proudly play a video game with their sons and say “Look, son! It’s 50 Cent. That’s a young man you set your watch to!”

All in all, the game is about you bringing money and food to orphans, until it’s taken from you. Then you have to fight to get it back! It’s a touching tale of friendship and fighting for what is right!

2. God of War: Chains of Olympus (PSP)
Why you should play it with your kids: This game is the only two for one on this list! Not only can your children play it on their PSP dring trips to the museum, but it’s an educational tale, as well!

You play as Kratos, who challenges your knowledge of Greek mythology through a series of trivia challenges. If you’re successful, you’ll see Kratos free his friends Hercules and Cyclops from Hades evil schemes! Seriously, if you guys are reading this and don’t know that I don’t know shit about any of these games, yet, then you’re retarded…

1. Grand Theft Auto: The Ballad of Gay Tony (XBOX360)
Why you should play it with your kids: seriously, why shouldn’t you play this game? This game teaches you nothing, except violence, depravity, and sex! If you’ve followed any of the advice in this article then you’re a sad human being. Instead of posting an image of a screen shot, I’m going to put what you should do instead:

You’re unfit to be a member of society if you let kids play this game. In fact, you probably shouldn’t have this game in your house if you have kids of any age. I mean, this game is awesome, and your kids will probably play it anyway while you’re out looking for blow or hookers. But, you’re still a horrible person…