I’m sitting in a room on 7:30 on a Saturday morning when I could be sleeping in. I am not going to say what I’m doing or where I am (fear of reprisals), but rest assured, I don’t want to be here. And apparently, neither does the broad sitting to my left… Apparently, it’s mimis tiem nao for her as she has laid her head down for a nappy poo.
Where I am and what I’m doing requires registration and the old man signing everyone in has done nothing but be slow, and complain about the fact that people may have “registered online.”
Listen, old bro, I realize that the “Internet” may be as scary to you as the town of Guadalupe is to someone raised in the Ahwatukee foothills, but it’s not. It’s much fucking scarier than that!
What’s that? These kids and their newfangled smart phones can have the Internet on their phone? And carry it with them all the time? Well hell, that must be as terrifying to you as it was to people from hundreds of years ago the first time they saw someone carrying a cannon in their hand (read: handgun).
It’s time to understand that you will die… sad… Knowing that technology will outlive you. You talk about how you don’t want a cell phone, or a computer, but you’re “forced” to have one. All I can think about is how people must have thought when they tried to write the airline for plane tickets… for the last time: “fuck.”
You need technology, it makes our lives easier. Just like anything else, it needs to be learned and adapted to. You may feel like you don’t need it in your life so you shouldn’t have to learn new technology because you’ve “earned the right.” But, nobody has earned the right to be ignorant for any reason.
So, clutch to your Oldsmobile, and your license plate-sized Texas belt buckle, and your good ‘ol boy southern accent until time passes you by. I’ll make sure to tweet about your obituary… Or at least post it on this blog. Oh, wait… I can do both! From my phone!
Thank you, technology!
Love & Hugs